HJ's Roundup

Thirsty Thursday again!

Whew, I know I'm ready for a frosty beverage.

Holly has me doing these ab workout things.

I guess she doesn't know you can't improve upon something that's perfect.

As I've said before, I can never be truly blog famous because I don't have a before picture...I'm a living after.

It's a curse.

But, once my abs are crazy strong, I will let a child punch me.

Now....Who's ready for a blog design party?

Well good thing it's time for......

Click on the blog title above each image to visit the page!

Sure Fine Whatever

Kimmie wanted a mix of colors and an irish flair to her blog.  The header is cheery without being too busy, which is a important to remember when you are using a lot of colors.  Kimmie shares about her life and family.  Click over and say hello!   

A Step in the Right Direction

Ash was my finally contest winner.  She wanted a foot print in the header to play off the name of her blog.  I tried to keep the feel organized and open.  Ash has a great recipe on her blog today for cookie dough cupcakes, so stop by and check her out!

Livingston’s Way Out West         

Ellen wanted a header for her blog about her family’s trip this summer.  I was able to find some great “travel” icons and combined them with a modern font.  Ellen is mapping out all of the details of the trip, so hop over and see what she is up to!

TimBob’s Bloggy Blog

Tim-Bobber!  A fellow blogging husband bro.  I’m glad to have Tim in the blogging ranks.  He drew me a picture of his idea design and I went from there.  Tomorrow we are doing our lip sync contest, so be sure to vote on his wall for your favorite dude.                              

The Norton Chronicles

Brooke also liked chevron and wanted to represent her state by incorporating North Carolina Tarheel blue.  The muted colors also give the blog a modern feel.  Brooke just started blogging a few months ago, so go give her a blogger welcome!

The Modern Housewife

Friends Natalia and Maddie wanted a new header for their shared blog.  They like calligraphy and wanted to keep the design clean and simple.  I added a few pops of pink to make the design more girly.  Today they are talking about Father’s Day gift ideas!

Julia’s Journey

Julia wanted a blog built from scratch.  I have been doing this more often for people as new bloggers keep joining the world.  Her idea for a gold glitter background really sets her blog apart and gives a distinctive look.  As I said, she is totally new, so go show her some blogland love.

There we go folks!  I should be finishing up May designs within a few days.

Also, don’t forget to come back tomorrow for the:

Womens Wednesday: Lip Dub Challenge Announcement

Hello you wascally wabbits.

Today Timbob and I are announcing an epic “showdown” that will “go down” this Friday.

A lip sync contest between Timmer and I.

A few weeks ago Jimmy Fallon and John Krasinski did a lip sync contest on Jimmy’s show.

Since I look like John K, everyone in America sent that video to Holly and I.

Here it is:

So Tim and I decided to have a show down of our own.

We are calling it:

(for the people who don’t know, that is Milli Vanilli, the most famous lip syncer’s of all time…next to Ashlee Simpson of course)

*picture credit to Tim’s wife.

On Friday we will post the videos and you can vote on Timbob’s wall for whoever you think was the best.

I’m opening the floor today for any song suggestions.

To check out all of my Womens Wednesday posts, click HERE!

Tutorial Tuesday: Creating a Custom Signature

It’s Tutorial Tuesday and boy are my arms tired.

Last week I asked you what you want, what you really, really, want.

And you told me what you want, what you really, realy, want.

A signature for your blog.

A signature is your name that appears at the bottom of your blog posts.

So let’s get to making it!

As usual, I’m using paint to make the plain white background for the signature.

First, click on RESIZE then PIXELS, and type 152 in Horizontal and 54 in vertical.

This is a good average size, but obviously you can make it bigger or smaller based on the size you would like your signature to be.

Next, SAVE that blank image to your desktop.

Now go to a font site that you would like to use, I’m going to show this on picmonkey, because it seems to be the most popular, but there are other great font sites out there like 1001fonts.com. 

When you get to picmonkey, click on EDIT A PHOTO and select the blank image you just created in Paint.

To get to the font, you just click on the P on the left hand side of the screen, then choose ADD TEXT. 

After you type your name you can choose a font and color that you like.

Next, a lot of people like to add a dash or symbol next to their name.

To do this, click on the group of small icons on the left.  Here you will find a ton of images that you can throw in next to your name.

Again, if you are not using picmonkey, just use an image you find on the internet or clipart that you already have.

After you have your signature looking the way you like it, click SAVE.

Then, save the image on your desktop.

Next, go to the Photobucket website.

I’ve talked about this site before, but if you have another site that generates code, that’s great too, whatever you feel comfortable with using.

Log in or sign up for an account with the site (it’s free).

Then go to UPLOAD and upload your image.

Next, the image should appear in a small box, click on that box.

Click on the line that says DIRECT, this will copy the entire line.

Paste the line into this code into this code in place of the red text, keeping within the quotation marks.

<img src="PASTE YOUR IMAGE CODE HERE"/>

Now you have working code of your signature.  Let’s put it into Blogger.

Go to your Blogger page and select SETTINGS.

Then select POSTS AND COMMENTS and paste the code you just created into the POST TEMPLATE and hit SAVE.

Bam! You are done!

You can check your signature by starting a new post and making sure it shows up.

This signature will now appear at the bottom of all your posts from now on.

If you want to add it to old posts, just grab the code, go into the old post and paste the code at the bottom with the HTML view selected.

I hope this was helpful!  Let me know if you installed a signature and I will check it out!

If you are viewing your blog in Google Chrome, you may see a white box around your signature, next week we are going to get rid of all white boxes in your blog!

Holly B-Day Tribute: The Magic of Holly

Holly’s birthday is coming up this weekend, so I thought I would do a little diddy about her.

She’s my wife, best friend and mother to our kids.

Every day she is loving, fun, and motivated.

Holly has achieved so many things in her life, but she always keeps pushing forward to make life better for everyone she knows, especially her family.

There is a certain magic to her…let me unlock that magic for you by category.

Social:

Holly is a friend to everyone.  This has always been big contrast in our personalities, because I only usually have 1 friend.  

But, Holly is always open to meeting new people and having fun with anyone around her.

When we first started dating, I tried to steer her away from people who had mental disorders, but she didn’t care.  She was always willing to get to know someone.

I think it’s part of the reason she has excelled in the blog world.  Holly isn’t just fake nice to people, she actually becomes your friend and shares her life.

Everyday she has someone new texting her and I’m like, who is this? And she will give me some lady’s life story while mentioning that she shared my bathroom habits with this new friend.

Cleaning:

This isn’t some womens thing.  Holly has a gift.  I can clean a room for 3 hours and it won’t look nearly as good as something she can do in 10 minutes.

She has taught me the difference in cleaning and DEEP CLEANING.  Deep Cleaning involves getting a NASA microscope, ripping the oven out of the wall and getting crazy on the baseboards.

Things that I could never see as important, like sweeping off the porch, become life or death.

Temper:

If Holly was a super hero, anger would be her power.  If she gets pissed, she can change the world.

One time when she was pregnant, we went to Starbucks and they were out of bananas.  

Little did they know Holly wanted a strawberry banana smoothie.  When they told her they were out, she unleashed a stream of obscenities that would kill a nun…Magically they found a banana and made Holly the smoothie.

Same goes with her kids, if she feels the kids aren’t being treated, she will murder somebody.  Everyone at our day care brings their A game when Holly walks down the hall.

Singing:

When Holly sings to the radio, she becomes the singer.  She closes her eyes, does hand gestures and gets emotional. 

Never mind that the singing is extremely off key and the words she sings aren’t even close to the ones in the song.  

She is like watching a concert in my front seat.

Motivator:

I’ll admit it: I would be a bum on the street if it were not for Holly.  

She motivated me to get my masters, try a new job, and be a good Dad…all with loving support and some yelling.

She works so hard to be good in every aspect of her life, it’s hard not to try and keep up.

Holly has already carved herself out a great career.  And her constant effort to stay healthy is inspiring.

 Holly doesn’t know how great she is:

That’s part of what makes her amazing, she doesn’t assume she is at the top of her game. 

She makes a lot jokes about herself but I know, like everyone, she has some self-doubt.

I hope she knows how beautiful, smart and funny she is.

Because we can all see it.  There is a reason that so many people are drawn to her.

I know how lucky I am to be married to her.

Every day is easy, fun and it’s amazing to see how we develop together as parents and a couple.

So Holly, as you are sitting on beach today with your friend, getting your drink on, know that I am saluting you...And also, when you get home, the laundry needs done. 

Happy birthday, I love you!

While Holly's Away...

As my old lady has bragged about for the past few weeks, she will be leaving on a trip today to visit her friend…leaving me home alone with the Nanny 911 cast…minus the heavy British lady.

We both get vacations.  Holly gets a break from her life of asking me to bring her drinks and run out to her car to get her makeup bag in the middle of the night.

And I get a break from pretending that I car about the pillows on the couch not being in the correct order.

However, my staycation is a little tougher based on my roommates.

Let’s meet the gang:

Olive Betty aka OB1Kenobi

Don’t let the cuteness fool you…SHE WILL BE THE WORST.

Threat Level: 10

Activities: Slapping people, going ape-shit if I don’t get her some muffins immediately, and hugging the dog.

Ok, the last one is cute, but she is a handful.

Her new past time is almost falling off of furniture 24 hours a day, so I’ll probably have a heart attack before Holly gets home.

She has Holly's temper and will smack you in the face if you don't let her have a drink of whatever you are drinking...much like Holly as well.

Next up...

Haven aka Have-Man the Glave-Man

Again, he looks innocent here.   But, this guy already turned the TV back on 5 times this morning after I would turn it off.

He fears nothing.  Holly and I as authority figures to him just make him laugh. 

Haven has no problem saying NO to anything we ask him to do.

“Haven put down that dynamite please.”…….NO

“Ok, then you need to go play in your room.”…..NO

“Alright, we are going to have to take your toy.”….NO

Not like a scared or angry NO…just NO…he’s not doing it and stop bothering him.

His new thing is telling us back what we told him.

“Haven you need to stop slapping people.”….NO, YOU need to stop slapping people.

Someday they will be in college.

Until then, Holly will continue to travel and I will drink.

Lastly...

Chauncey aka Chaunce-Dog aka Lare-Dog

My best friend and ally in the house.  Chance is quiet and just wants to sit by you all of the time.  He does bark at strangers based on his trust issues.

Chauncey is my number 2 in charge.

So womens, don't let Holly tell you that I'm taking it easy this weekend.

No, this trip is part of my birthday present to her.

That in addition to all the other things she ordered for herself online and the presents I buy that will be returned so that she can buy something even more expensive and say my gifts "went towards that."

Keep me in your thoughts.

Watch YOU Want?... Surprise Me!

Tutorial Tuesday is here again and today I'm asking what tutorials YOU womens want.

It seems that I've been a husband for too long... forgoing my own needs and just caring about you.

But, you don't know what you want??

Sounds like Holly at dinner every night.

She'll complain about being hungry, then she will say a disgusted "NO" to every food option on the planet.

Finally, she will say the laziest of all orders: "Surprise Me!"

.......Womens......

DON'T SAY THAT.

That's only setting us poor men folk up to fail and it puts way to much pressure on us.

Especially since Holly doesn't eat meat.  My meal choices for her are usually saltine crackers and ketchup packets.

So, my solution is to yell, "Surprise, you are getting Taco Bell!"  Then run out of the door so that she doesn't have time to say no.

Boom, win-win-win....I always feel that if Holly and I got our own show, I would be like Spencer...my TV hero.

Back to tutorial ideas! Leave a comment below and it will do it!

My ideas for tutorials you might want include:

-Creating a signature
-Creating a header
-Learning how to match colors
-Creating social icons

What else would you like to learn how to do????

Unleash the Beast

Hello womenz army.

As you may have seen on Holly’s blog, the race did not go so great…and by not so great, I mean puking on or near most families in St. Louis, then dragging your sick wife 2 miles.

The event was like any public appearance of Hubby Jack...which mean my fans were hounding me!..even during the race.

It all started last week when Olive got sent home from school with 6 other kids in her class that had a terrible flu…I soon got that sickness and was down all last week.

Not like a runny nose, but intense nausea all day, every day like a pregnant lady.

The one bonus was that I lost 7 POUNDS in 4 days…take that Jillian Michaels.

Anyway, I didn’t really make this known last week, (other than Holly’s blog post) because I thought I could just tough it out, run the 5K and be totally fine.

I also didn’t want to seem like I was making excuses for not training.

So, Saturday comes and I’m feeling a little better.

I think, I can do this race, then go to bed… it will be easy.

As years of reading blogs has trained me to do, I had a spark and a protein bar before the race.

 Being at races before I was not surprised to see a million people dressed wacky.   People in tutu’s, capes, and body glitter of course.  However, there were a lot of families with little kids. 

My headband is my only wacky cloth item but it serves two purposes. 

1.) Keeps my amazing mop at bay while I run. 

2.) Makes me look so darn cute.

I’m still feeling alright, good even…My plan was to just follow Mel and see how that went....because you know KottezRunsIt.

Then the race starts and a billion people pinball into each other.

I start weaving in and out of every family in America who had to bring their: stroller, baby bjorn, guide dog, and grandma in a motorized wheelchair…because grandma still loves a good 5K.

I stay behind Mel for almost a mile then my flu symptoms come back and rock me like a hurricane.

Instantly I have to throw up.

(The nicest puke picture I could find)

So, I run to the side walk and unleash the beast.

I can see 5 year old girls freeze in terror on the street.

At that point, I was still concerned with my time, so I just take off running full speed again.

Big mistake.

My stomach says, “Hey dumbshit, I said stop running…this will show him: cue the protein bar!”

…And I have to get off of the road again.

At this point, I was back in flu mode.

Then I saw Holly coming down the road and I could tell she was not feeling well either.

So, I run over to her and see that she is REALLY sick.

I decided to just run the rest of the race with her and try to live.

When we finished, we immediately went home and got in bed….we know how to party.

So, my time which you all bet on????

35:00…yeah…pretty bad.

So the big contest winner is…..

Ash Z!!!!!  With a guess of 34:50.

I’ll email you your gift card.

She be winnin all the HJ contests!!!!

In case you were wondering my normal time is around 28 minutes…not that it's impressive either..ha

It was a good experience though and I left the race feeling that I could probably do better next time and at least I’m not this guy.